There is truth in saying that dating is just not the same anymore, and there are a variety of reasons as to why that is. Many point solely to social media, with the introduction of apps like Tinder and Bumble revolutionising how people meet their partner (or fulfilled a need) and negate the ability to meet and connect with someone organically, and do the song and dance of figuring out whether their needs are mutual.
When I told my parents that I had gotten a Tinder (which was done reluctantly, but had to happen), initially, my dad was confused and asked me why I would do that and what I was seeking from it, however, before I could answer, my mum goes “Well, how else is she going to meet people?”
It was then that I realised that she understood why I had Tinder before I did. I remember just making the account on a whim because I was yearning something (I think now it was attention, which is pretty valid). I hadn't had a naturally occuruing relationship that year, which was wild to think about, but also kind of sad too, when I encountered men in an organic setting, our intentions with each other never matched. I know that I'm not along in this obersvation, especially amoung young women in a modern culture.
However, it is interesting to think about how many people can meet and connect through apps, versus the possibility of them meeting organically. Is it really like how my mum says, in that it would be hard to meet someone without needing to use an app?
Granted, while online dating has become a norm, it is not dominant.
But going back to what my mum said… the idea is that apps like Tinder, Bumble and even Facebook and Instagram have become the mutual-ground of where people are making an initial connection with strangers and potential friends or partners. As much as we all would want the encounter our grandparents and parents had when meeting each other and knowing that they were ‘the one’, it’s just not like that anymore. Young people are nervous, or just a different mindset towards relationships in general. Or am I going about it the wrong way? I’ve not had anything lasting from a guy I’ve met during a night out, and sadly that seems to be the only times I’m really out and speaking to new people. I can’t help but wonder how many others are in this same unclear position when it comes to dating and meeting new people.
This realisation of being uncertain about what I’m doing has urged me to embrace being single for a little while longer, because for a while, I was ‘looking ’for the wrong reasons. This now puts me in a good position to explore my own feelings, and look into whether people really now need these apps to serve as an ice-breaker when meeting new people, either friends or potential partners. But then again, could I be blowing this out of proportion, based on my own perceived lack of success?
Since it’s the only app that I have experience with, I will be talking about Tinder, which now has an estimated 57 million users around the world, and billions of swipes are processed every day with over 20 billion matches made since the apps launch in 2012. Statistics (from Business of Apps) tell us that there are more male users on tinder than female (in the US there are twice as more male than female users), and most users are between the ages of 18 and 24, and populations decline in the older age demographics. Users are most likely to be active between 6pm and 10pm, men were statistically more likely to message first, and 4.1 million users have paid for a premium version of Tinder.
In 2017 a survey conducted by LendEDU asked 9,761 American college students found that Tinder was used mostly with the intent of “Confidence-Boosting Procrastination”, and sadly, when compared to “Other Reasons” and “Looking for a Hookup”, the intent of “Looking for a Relationship” is last on the list.
But what makes this interesting, is that Simple Texting, another data collection website, found in their survey of over 1,000 Americans found that the most common reason for using Tinder and other dating apps was to “Find a serious, long term relationship.”
So what I am wanting to say, is that Tinder represents how dating is changing to an activity that is assisted, accessible and aligned with social media. This is not necessarily a bad thing, more people are going to be able to meet each other because of apps like Tinder and it could lead to an interesting outcome. Either people can move on from dating apps, or dating apps can gain more popularity.
Sure, right now there is still a ‘stigma ’around Tinder, as it is still socially recognised as an app designed to make hooking up and one night stands easy — and while it is, there are still users on it who intend to use it like a traditional dating service, with complete mutual understanding and control. It is very easy to think about the format being adapted as more and more technology and information becomes available.
Resources:
Iqbal, M. 2020, Tinder revenue and Usage statistics (2020), Business of Apps, retreived1st of July 2020, <https://www.businessofapps.com/data/tinder-statistics/>
Brown, M. 2017, Is Tinder a Match for Millennials? LendEDU, retrieved 1st of July 2020, <https://lendedu.com/blog/tinder-match-millennials/>
N/A, Dating Apps: Just for Hookups? Simple Texting, retrieved 1st of July 2020, <https://simpletexting.com/dating-app-survey/>