Occasionally, there is a woman who wakes up the next morning after an intimately-risky evening to a deep anxiety in the pit of her stomach: you may know this woman, or may be this woman. While the anxiety may pass with some self-assurance, for some, this experience is related to a deeply rooted phobia, and it may be likely that she doesn’t know that it has a name…
Tokophobia is the pathological of being pregnant or giving birth and is something the effects sufferers in a variety of ways, like deep anxiety, or practicing celibacy out of paranoia of becoming pregnant.
Shelby, from Arizona, has known that she doesn’t want to become pregnant since she was four years old, she recalls having a sick feeling in her stomach at the thought, even while she was playing with a pregnancy-type Barbie doll. “I honestly didn’t even realize it was an actual thing until I saw it mentioned on Facebook. After that it all just clicked. I’ve felt sick and anxious my whole life when thinking about becoming pregnant,” Shelby recalls, which is a story similar to many women, as well as the sentiment towards society expectation of women to have children. Shelby has not been diagnosed with Tokophobia, but like many other women, she feels it.
“Many people believe that it is a woman’s duty to bring children into the world, and it is typically seen as in a woman’s nature to want children, so it makes sense that people just sweep it under the rug.”
For women with Tokophobia, there is a point where prevention of pregnancy becomes an obsession. Tokophobia is anxiety inducing and can, at times, demand a lot of attention to detail, at the expense of other areas of life, especially for a phobia that is barely explored in the field of mental health. With a percentage as high as 22 percent, why is it that this phobia is not more explored or widely acknowledged, and why are there not more resources for women who feel that they could be experiencing this?
There are two recognised types of Tokophobia:
Primary Tokophobia, which occurs in women who have not given birth before, the dread may begin in adolescence and while it may not affect sexual relations, anxiety is prevalent over the perceived risk of getting pregnant.
And, Secondary Tokophobia, which occurs in women who have experienced childbirth prior and may have developed it as a result of trauma from that experience. The presence of Secondary Tokophobia could be a symptom in post-natal depression.
While it is a lesser known phobia, research by Acta Obstertricia et Gynecologica Scandinavica suggests that between 2.5 percent and 14 percent of women are affected by Tokophobia, but there are some researchers who will argue that the rate of impact could be as high as 22 percent. It is important to note that most of the medical research into Tokophobia focusses on Secondary Tokophobia and its impact on women who are already pregnant by the time the phobia develops, which leaves a noticeable gap in knowledge and in turn, support for those with Primary Tokophobia. This leaves women who experience anxiety over the possibility of becoming pregnant in the dark about what they could be experiencing, and how they could get help for it if it becomes too much to handle alone, especially in a society that emphasises motherhood as something joyful and selfless. I want to stress that not wanting to have a child is a perfectly valid choice.
There are many groups on sites like Facebook or Reddit that act as safe places for women to talk about feeling pressure from family to have children, or can discuss things like Tokophobia without being met with confusion.
Often women who experience primary Tokophobia avoid getting pregnant (through contraception or celibacy) and find themselves in a place mentally where having sex becomes a trigger. Other triggers involve irregular period cycles and general panicked anxiety. Tokophobia goes beyond just not wanting to have children; it means having to deal with dread and unjustified paranoia over the idea of becoming pregnant.
For Amber in Ohio, this means a sick feeling and dread. She has found herself unsure of whether her fears will alter her family planning status in the future, but for now, the idea of becoming pregnant makes her stomach upset.
Like many other women, Amber found out about Tokophobia through a Facebook group for child-free women. Currently, she is undiagnosed, but is convinced that she is afflicted. “I do know it affects a lot more woman than people know… Being educated about things others experience is always good, especially when they can affect someone’s life so greatly.”
No one is sure about what causes Tokophobia, some factors that may contribute to development is a fear of loss of control or privacy that comes with starting a family, as well as past sexual abuse. Whereas in the case of Secondary Tokophobia, there is suspected causation in the developed fear of going through the pain of childbirth again, or a lack of trust in medical professionals.
Whether the fear passes or not, the fact remains that there are women who experience genuine fear at the idea of becoming pregnant or delivering a child, and the realm of it has barely been explored. This is all despite maternity being such a prominent experience in the lives of almost every woman, and in many cultures. The matter could should be considered a feminist one, especially with some researchers assuming a rate of 22 percent of women that could be experiencing Tokophobia to some degree.
The current advice to women who feel that they could be struggling with more than just an adversary to motherhood, should reach out. Especially when they have reached the point of genuine fear and struggle. If the professional is genuine, there should be no judgement, even if they themselves haven’t heard of Tokophobia.
Sources:
Maeve, A. O’Connell, Warren, P. Khashan, A. Kenny, L. O’Neil, S. 2017, Worldwide prevalence of tokophobia in pregnant women: systematic review and meta-analysis, Acta Obstertricia et Gynecologica Scandinavica, Volume 96, Issue 8, retrieved 24th March 2020, <https://obgyn.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/aogs.13138>
Jones, C. Wadephul, F & Jomeen, J. 2018, Tokophobia: what it’s like to have a phobia of pregnancy and childbirth, The Conversation, retrieved 20th March 2020, <https://theconversation.com/tokophobia-what-its-like-to-have-a-phobia-of-pregnancy-and-childbirth-91271>
Cherry, K. 2019, Tokophobia: Fear of Childbirth and Pregnancy, Very Well Mind, retrieved 23rd March 2020, <https://www.verywellmind.com/tokophobia-overview-4684507>
Bhatita, M. & Jhanjee, A. 2012, Tokophobia: A dread of pregnancy, US National Library of Medicine National Institute of Health, doi: 10.4103/0972-6748.119649, retrieved 20th March 2020, <https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3830168/>
Rigby, G. 2018, What it’s like to live with a pathological fear of pregnancy, VICE, retrieved 20th March 2020, <https://www.vice.com/en_au/article/3kj3mj/tokophobia-fear-of-pregnancy-childbirth>
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